Hello my beautiful contributors!
This came up for me today and I want to share it with you.
In our lives nothing matters as much as the quality of our relationships. I’m not talking about romantic relationships strictly, yet any kind of relationship with another human being.
Would you agree?
In relationships, just like in any other area of our lives, we have a specific standard – fixed idea of what a good relationship looks and feels like. This standard varies from one person to another. What matters to me might not matter to you. However, what is unique to all of us is that our original example of the relationship standard comes through our family.
If we are not conscious of this, we can easily have a copy-paste relationship with our partner and others as our parents had towards themselves and us. We copy the level of honesty, the level of openness, kindness. We copy the ways of showing love and emotions. We copy the way of dealing with problems. We copy the way of judgement and frustration towards each other. Etc.
I could go on and on forever. However, the crucial part is that we actually have a choice to choose our own standards. We can choose what kind of friendships and romantic relationships we will accept in our lives. We can create new standards and go above what we are used to.
Yes, it takes time and a conscious will to choose a better way all over again. Yet, when there is a will, there is a way!
The challenge of this week is to ask yourself:
What are the standards of relationships in my family?
How honest I’m with my friends?
Do I even know the people I hang out with?
Do they know me as who I am?
Are my closest relationships build on trust, support, encouragement and love?
Or should I reconsider my/their behaviour and set a new standard?
Once you see the situation clearly, you can write down what you don’t like about your current relationships.
When you have a list of “I don’t like…”, it’s easier to build a list of “I like my relationships to be…”
You can choose whatever you want. Choose your standard and be honest about it with your friends and family. You have the right to say NO to people who don’t treat you right. You have the right to stop hanging out with people that are not interested in who you really are. You have the right to let go of the surface relationships that are existing only because of the tradition.
What helped me the most to have beautiful and empowering relationships only was to be honest. Once I’ve started to work on myself and I’ve committed to my growth, I’ve told everyone about it. I was even recording Facebook videos so everyone could see what is in my head. Lots of people started distancing from myself naturally. And lots of people were gravitating towards meeting me. Honesty always gets you the people who are meant to be next to you. 🙂
To get some more juicy content on a quality relationships I’m inviting you to listen to my latest podcast episode with a Relationship and Conscious Dating from London – Dilara Tetik. We touched so many different topics and you’ll enjoy this podcast if you are single or in a relationship since we cover it all 🙂
Here is a link to a youtube video of the whole episode:
#5 Dilara Tetik – Taking Relationships and Dating To a New Level
Hope you’ll enjoy it!
Have a lovely week and talk to you soon!